sample blog

"there was an old bird who lived in a shoe(box)" photo: kbach

yes hapas are adorable and attractive, but full dolphins are just as adorable and attractive. well one special hapa dolphin, or a wholphin (part false killer whale and part dolphin) just had a baby!

leona johansson and tommy hol ellingsen have a strong love for the earth. they show it by having a strong love for each other, video taping it, putting it on the internet, and raising money. in the middle of a Norwegian clear-cut forest, they discuss the dammage that deforestation can cause the environment. then they do it, right there, on the tree stump. unfortunately, the "reputable" environmental organizations refuse to accept the $90,000 or so that leona and tommy have raised. if this environmental law thing doesn't work out for me, it's nice to know that there are other options out there.

[i run into my dad in the driveway as he pulls up from grocery shopping and i'm about to head to berkeley.]

dad: hi, are you leaving? takes these four bananas with you.

me: thanks dad, i'll only need two tho.

dad: no, take four, eat them.

me: no, i won't eat them all in a day.

dad: it's ok, you need a spare banana, keep them in your car. (he throws two bananas into his back seat)

me: ew, no i don't want to keep them in the car, they'll get smashed.

dad: well eat them before they get smashed then.

me: no, i don't want four, i don't understand why you won't just let me take two. I just want two bananas, that's the perfect amount for me. I can come back and get more bananas but i only want two now. just two, i don't need four, how come you won't let me just take two. i just don't understand why you always make me take so much food with me that it ends up going bad anyways and two bananas are fine i mean i just don't underst..

dad: OK FINE! GIVE ME BACK THE BANANAS THEN! YOU DON'T DESERVE THEM. YOU'RE A SPOILED UNGRATEFUL AMERICANIZED BRAT. GIVE THEM BACK TO ME, I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE ANY BANANAS! NOT ANY! (translated from chinese)

((for a split second i fantasized unpeeling the bananas and smearing them across the pavement and cars saying "yeah, maybe i don't deserve your bananas!"))

me: ok .... (hand him back one banana and run into the car and speed off before he can take all the bananas away from me)

Quad*****: i just watched one of the most fucke dup movies ever
Auto response from Lee*****: it's rainin
Quad*****: closer
Quad*****: and i think you'd like it for some reason
Quad***** is idle at 1:05:48 AM.

later that day:

Nectar in *****: that's a good idea. when things fuck with your mind, say fuck my mind! i'm gonna concentrate on my kickass body
Lee*****: LOL