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born too late or grew up too fast. missing two brothers and a sister, they're living somewhere else in the universe. pretends to be a robust boy in the day and pretends to be a mysterious girl at night. enjoys long walks on the beach and punching people in the face.

i'm jealous of my own suitcases. one piece has been to vietnam twice without me and another is on its way to china right now. i gotta believe that it will be my turn soon. maybe when i finally do get a chance my suitcases will introduce me to their friends and tell me which places are good to eat at. i especially need to see vietnam and spend more time with china. they nag at me to come home like a mother and father should.

i can scarcely believe that you're back. even as i was gathering up all my courage to look you in the eyes for the first time again. you put your fingers through my hair but they got caught in a tangle of mine. the awkward moments are the sweetest.
i know a part of you is still there.
thank you for leaving a part of you here with me. i'd hear him skating around town or strumming on the guitar. sometimes he'd whisper about how you were safe in the arms of our motherland. he even took me there to visit you when the moon was high noon on my side, and the sun was already shining on yours.
when you got back, i stitched him onto the inside of your green zip-up. has he told you how much i miss you?

the processor in my head is slow, like 266 mhz or something.

before i could get over the shock of an exciting reunion and amazingly gorgeous lazy long weekend in so cal, i got back to berkeley and rolled over into a week of attempts to recreate it with two lovely ladies and jose. and right in the middle of our giggles and toe taps comes another gang of fun who drove up from so cal to welcome the new weekend. it also brought along a wonderful surprise that i could hold hands with.

i'm heartsick.

someone told me a few days ago that i should stop being naive and idealistic. i just might take her advice. this pensive summer isn't over yet.

this job allows me to stew in my own mind juices. i broke my heart today for the 5th time since this project started. i either need to stop stewing or stop counting.

happy belated birthday jimmy.

rilo kiley makes me so sad that i can't figure out what to do other than smile.

i woke up this morning and threw open the window. at that moment, 100 sad songs flew into the room. they wrenched me from the bedpost and thew me down hard upon the sky. all i could do was lay there while they whirled around me. for a long time i just stared up at the ocean, trying hard not to listen to what they had to sing. i recognized a few sea creatures and realized i was staring up at the gulf of mexico. suddenly, all i wanted to do was take a swim there again. when the songs felt me get up to leave, they grew angry and released their sadness onto me. i began to cry and my tears rained down upon the sea. the songs' anger and my tears caused a violent storm. it was so breathtaking that the songs' continuous hold was broken, just for an instant, and i fell from the sky and fell for days. it felt good to feel gravity again. he pulled me close, like he meant it. and soon i plunged deep into the sea. i think my time with the songs had turned my heart into stone because i sank and i felt i might never look up at the sun without the ocean between us.